Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize