There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
