im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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