they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
