is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize