oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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