i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
