i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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