Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
