those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
