And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
false alarm. still invincible.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
