Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
