You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
