It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
