In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
