Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
