what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
