11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparently the secret to your success is patron
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
