would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize