I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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