I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
