I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
