what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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