Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
