You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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