But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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