last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
