Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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