Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
