am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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