she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
