he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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