No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize