He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
