Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
