what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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