I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
