You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
