:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
