so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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