i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's never too late to be topless.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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