You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
