I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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