I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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