my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
