Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
