The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
