People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You ruined the universe
Randomize