i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
