I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just pee around me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
