Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
