i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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