Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
