ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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