We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
