Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize