Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
