I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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