You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
50% drunk capacity currently
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
