just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
