We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
